I Challenge Ned to a Cage Match

in steem •  3 years ago 

Hi Ned,

I challenge you to a sanctioned MMA fight and here are my terms :


  1. Prize pool for winner is $1,000,000 U.S. Dollars. If you win you keep the Million. If I win all proceeds will be donated to agreed upon Charities.

  2. You may use any fighting style but I will limit my strikes to an open handed palm slap or the ever popular backhanded "pimp slap". So you may for instance throw leg kicks, punches, grapple etc and all I will be able to do is slap you. Self aggrandizement is strictly prohibited by either party. If either party Self Aggrandizes , a weighted NFL referee style flag will be thrown directly at the guilty party and 1 point will be lost from the round.

  3. In regards to a cornerman, you may have Justin Sun and I choose @berniesanders . Justin must agree to wear an actual tron suit from the Tron Movie Series. He must also agree not to pick his nose for boogers, look at said boogers and definitely not eat them. @berniesanders will be a virtual corner man and will be allowed to communicate to me via livestream on a laptop and is limited to sending me only gifs. It will be up to me to decipher what the sent gifs mean.

  4. The event can be live streamed on Dlive and possibly 3Speak if live-streaming is available at fight time.

  5. You may pick the venue

  6. Fight date to be 2 months from date of agreement in order to allow you to train for your ass whooping.

  7. If I win, you also agree to never wear suspenders again, you must shave your head, go back to school and take Business 101 classes, apologize to the poor souls you fired at Steemit Inc due to your incompetence and finally you must donate your guitar to an inner city school.

If there are any terms you'd like to add or change please respond as I am agreeable an eager to get to promoting the fight. I look forward to getting the terms agreed upon.

I also look forward to tasting your blood on the back of my hand as I deliver the final Knock out Pimp Slap to your Chipmunk Face.

We can also discuss an under card and Tron can select their best fighters to go against STEEM fighters before the main event.


I am ready to fight for STEEM and STEEMIANS.

What about the rest of STEEM?

Are you ready to Rumble?

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@ned's a wussy. He wouldn't do it.

When do the tickets go on sale?

waiting for Neds response on terms and then will begin the promotion of the Cage Match !

do you want to be on the under card and fight a Tron Bastard ?

Sign me up lol

nice, this should be better then any UFC event

How about we make it 1,000,000 Steem!... Oh wait I forgot! Silly me

Maybe his boy @justinsunsteemit would be down for a lil scrappy and a bit of the old ultraviolence.

Yes that's a Clockwork Orange quote.

I reckon I could probably get him into a blood choke in roughly 2-3 seconds. Then, it's sleepy time sweet prince. Let's do some grappling training Justin. Sure it will make us both better men.

Sidebar: Wonder if Justin fathomed that acquiring Steem would be such a catastrophic PR disaster?

Maybe if he would have done his due diligence about the coin it would have worked out better.

That's just a crazy theory of mine.

Ha ! I think he deeply underestimated the pure grit of this truly gifted community. I am also 100% certain I could finish the fight very quickly with Ned but I would toy with him like a cat that plays with his food for a few rounds. Gotta give the crowd a show for the main event and set him up for the Pimp Slap K.O.. !

If Justin wants in I've got you matched up with him.

Omfg that's funny !BEER

I'm totally cereal bro

I resteemed it for you


I know you are.. but I'm a horrible promoter

I should have written "Ring Announcer". I want you to be the "Mike Buffer" of this STEEM UFC fight. And after each fight you can puff a morning bowl between fights

Well in that case sign me up

LMFAO! 😂😂😂💪🏽💪🏽👊🏼👊🏼👉🏽🤚

Big ups hommie, way to turn up! I ready to serve that fool some street justice if he responds and shows up for the cage match!!

LoL This is great! I think at this point, @ned isn't even looking at the platform anymore, he's like okay, I am out! LOL

he actually commented on fanboy @ daltono 's post yesterday. Of course I flagged him because it's the closest I'll probably be able to get to hitting him, he's certainly lurking.

I like steemizen better,...

STEEM + Citizen , nice one. Maybe I can hire you to create a slogan for the Cage Match event ?

Let's get ready to slumber!

In this corner nervous ned, whenever he comes out of the shadows of shame.
Our champion EpicFail!
Destroyer of egos, ripper offerer of scabs!

Cue @sweetsssj as ring girl!
And the crowd goes wild!

my new tattoo "Ripper Offerer of Scabs" lmfao

Lol, i forgot poker of bruises!


Delete this post ASAP - ned will never turn up, but he might down vote you forever, because he's butt hurt 'cos he knows he ain't ever gettin' in that cage.

** No one knows how many SP he still hold in other accounts...**

I ain't scared of flags. Maybe it will help us find out his other accounts.

Nah, you'll be fine, he's busy enjoying his windfall. Besides I think you've had quite a few resteems (including me), thus he'll just be bringing attention to his butt hurtness.

By the way, you should add a comedy/funny tag to this :-)


He must also agree not to pick his nose for boogers, look at said boogers and definitely not eat them.


So much morning lolz!! 😂😂😂

Let me know if you're still looking for fighters on the undercard. Although we need some cool suits to, I love those lightbike Tron suits, they're epic!


yes, what will your fighting style be? I have you on the list. Thanks

The ancient art of No-Kan-do


Hey @epic-fail, here is a little bit of BEER from @davedickeyyall for you. Enjoy it!

Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking.

I want a few kegs

:) Awesome...lmao! :)))
Even the pimp slap will be too hard for Justin ;)


Oh sorry, it's Ned you wanna fight....
Same thing...

pretty much

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Get me on the undercard!

oh, you are definitely on the under card. Maybe you can host the event in Croatia !

Awesome... I know a few uninhabited islands in the Adriatic where we can hold this event. LEts raise the stake... Loser swims to the mainland.

haha , I like it