Loneliness no matter what you do. Problems caused by an unfulfilled heart and two psychological causes.

in loneliness •  2 months ago 

No matter what you do or who you meet, somehow you feel lonely. Have you ever experienced the feeling of a hole in your heart?
They say it is because of an "unfulfilled heart. Why is the heart unfulfilled? How can the heart be filled?

You are actively involved with others, enjoying hobbies and self-improvement, and working hard at your job, but you do not feel happy or fulfilled at all.

No matter what I do or who I am with, for some reason I feel lonely.

Various things are not going well, and I always have a blurred feeling that I cannot clear up.

The cause of such problems may lie in an "unfulfilled mind.

Today, I will tell you the cause and psychology of an unfulfilled mind, and how to fill your mind and obtain happiness.

I hope this article will be helpful to you as you work hard every day.

What is a psychological situation in which our mind is not fulfilled?

When our hearts are unfulfilled, it is said that we are prone to the following psychological situations.

(1) Feeling somewhat lonely even when you are with someone

You are in the middle of a supposedly fun drinking party or date, but you suddenly feel lonely. When everyone else is having a good time, you may feel alone and cold.

(2) Ups and downs of mood without reason

Even though you should be doing reasonably well, for some reason you tend to feel unstable, or you feel more anxious for no reason.

(3) Getting what you want does not satisfy you

No matter how much you get what you want, you never feel satisfied, so all you feel is impatience and desire.

(4) Don't feel motivated

You have a mountain of things you need to do, but you have a hard time finding the motivation to do them.

(5) You don't know what you like to do or what you want to do

They may lose track of what they like, what they want to do, and their emotions. It often seems as if every day passes by in a bland and tasteless manner.

Five problems caused by an unfulfilled heart

When our hearts are unfulfilled, we try to fill the unfulfilled part with "something.

Filling the heart is important, but trying to fill it with something other than what the heart really wants can lead to not only lack of fulfillment, but also problematic behavior.

Let me give you some examples.

(1) Making unnecessary purchases

When people try to satisfy their unfulfilled hearts with material goods, they often become dependent on shopping. Some may even end up with debt problems.

Those who tend to regret their purchases may have this tendency.

(2) Repeated binge eating and drinking

When we try to satisfy our minds with food, we tend to binge eat and drink. Be careful if overeating continues.

(3) Too many things. Cannot keep your room tidy

In many cases, they try to fill their minds by bringing things into their rooms.

They also tend to have problems keeping things tidy because it is easier to get the feeling that "space is filled with stuff" if the room is cluttered.

(4) Overloading your schedule

It is very painful to be aware of an unfulfilled heart and loneliness, so they tend to unconsciously make too many plans in an attempt to avoid it.

(5) Easily addicted to dependent or adulterous love

The psychology of wanting a man to fulfill your heart makes it easy to fall into a dependent relationship. It is also possible to fall into an affair with a man who is also lonely. ......

How did you feel about this? Since an unfulfilled heart is characterized by the fact that it is difficult to be aware of, many people are troubled by the fact that they do not know why they feel this way.

However, the problems caused by an unfulfilled heart will always calm down when the heart is filled.

Two Causes in the Unfulfilled Heart

There are two main causes of an unfulfilled heart.

Cause 1: Carrying over from the past

Our hearts are designed so that even if we encounter a sad event, if we can share our feelings with others and grieve properly, our sadness will gradually heal and our hearts will be filled.

However, if, for some reason, we have to hold back our sadness and loneliness and keep trying hard, the sadness and loneliness we have held back will remain in our hearts.

The gentler you are, the more ingrained you are in separating yourself from your feelings and putting others first, the more likely you are to cause problematic behavior to satisfy your unfulfilled heart.

As you attend to your own feelings as you attend to the feelings of others, the sadness and loneliness of the past will heal and your heart will gradually be filled with contentment.

Cause 2: Self-denial

When we deny ourselves, we are pushing ourselves away.

That makes our desire for "I want people to approve of me!" but when we are in self-denial, no matter how much people like us, we develop a suspicion that "this person just likes me for acting like someone they would like.

Therefore, your heart will always be unfulfilled.

If you yourself can give a sincere acknowledgement of your goodness and hard work, your heart will gradually be filled.

Five Ways to Fill Your Heart

Here are five ways to fill your heart, which we often introduce in our counseling sessions. They are all things that you can do right now, so please refer to them.

(1) Self-hugging

If you have a habit of putting others first or strong self-denial, a "self-hug" is recommended. Give yourself a gentle hug.

When your heart becomes light, you are done. It is effective if you do it every night before going to bed.

(2) Creating a place where you can talk about what's on your mind

Create a place where you can talk with a trusted friend, counselor, or other person who is your unadorned self!

The biggest point is not to focus on one person. If you direct your suppressed demands to only one person, the other person will not be able to accept them.

Until then, spread out the people you talk to.

(3) Putting a circle or mark on the calendar

Every day when you wake up in the morning, put a circle or mark in the date column of your calendar.

"You woke up today, too!You did great!" This will be a self-approval.
After a month of doing this, your calendar will become very lively and your heart will be filled with joy. Please enjoy writing with your favorite color pens.

(4) Writting thank you letters to those who have helped you

Write a thank you letter to a friend, teacher, senior, neighbor uncle, or anyone else you think once helped you.

This is an exercise in opening up and being honest about your feelings. Since the purpose is not to hand over the letter, it is OK even if you are no longer in contact with the person. Please write as much as you want.

(5) Touch something you used to love.

Try eating the candy you used to love as a child, or singing a nostalgic song at karaoke, or any other way to get in touch with the things you used to love.

By remembering the things you used to love, you will be able to regain the feelings you have disconnected from.

It's hard to be 100% mindful

It is very difficult to fulfill all of our hearts.

Because our needs are never-ending, and because we have unfulfilled parts of each other, we can have the joy of supporting each other.

Let us all support each other as we deal with our unfulfilled hearts.

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