Is your partner or partner to be your mate???

in hive-195150 •  3 months ago 

We all know the saying of "am I your mate?", well this shouldn't apply in some parts of marriage. Let's talk about ways or aspects in which your partner should be your mate...

Source; edited by @graciella on PixelLab

By speaking mate I mean you should marry a person you can speak with and you both understand each other. One thing to know is that communication in marriage is very crucial. For someone whom when you say 'A' he/she says ' Z', you can't enjoy marriage with that person because there is division in your speaking and also understanding level. You see a lot of men going to the bar to hang out with their friends, gist till about 11pm because their wives can't engage in meaningful intellectual discussions not that that's what it means all the time. Likewise, many women would prefer to go out with friends, when they know the mentality of their husbands when it concerns vital issues and discussion is very low.


Keeping in mind that marriage is not just some social union but also a spiritual union then you ought to marry somebody who knows the same God that you know. Some will say it's evangelism but sweetheart please don't marry somebody who's believe of God is not the same with yours. Remember in Amos 3;3 that "Two can't work together except they agree". You should also look at Joshua 23 vs 11-15 and 2 Corinthians 6 vs 14-18. What some people fail to understand is the fact that the physical is controlled by the spiritual, even when it comes to marriage. So, be sure to check for spiritual compatibility in whoever it is you want to marry.

In this case it mean that you marry somebody you can learn with and improve together. You don't want to marry "Mr or Miss Know all", or somebody who is inflexible, not open to new innovations, ideas or way of doing things. You should know marriage is an institution where from the first day till death do you part, you will keep learning. So you have to marry your school mate who is ready to learn together with you.


I beg you my dear don't marry a stingy someone because there are plenty of expenses to take care of in marriage. When a guy is stingy in courtship don't fool yourself that suddenly he will turn to a generous husband when you marry. Any lady who has this financial mindset of "my man's money is our money and my money is my money" please don't marry her. Marry somebody you know believes in the worth of labour, somebody that is ready to work not some lazy he/she who would just want to stay a consumer and not even contribute. So the earlier you choose someone that is prepared to spend to grow and for the success of the family then the better for you.

Sex or sexual feelings is no sin so you have to be with the one you have sexual feelings for or sexual chemistry with. Sex has a huge role to play in the success of every single marriage and so any one you don't have sexual feelings for it's better to not marry such a person. If you know you have no sexual feelings for that lady, then leave her alone. Every spiritual being is equally a sexual being; no matter how spiritual you both are in marriage, you will not be praying for 24 hours in a day or be reading the Bible 24hrs/7days. Even if you plan for a period of time to do that, You will at some point have sex ! You will romance, flirt with each other and make babies. Conclusion, marry somebody you connect with sexually because it will help you enjoy your marriage a lot!

You know everyone is different na especially when being social is concerned. You have to marry someone that you will be proud to go out with not the kind of person you will be shy to introduce to others with boldness. It has to be someone you can hang out with comfortably or someone compatible with socially. If you are social I'd prefer you don't marry an anti-social person and vice-versa.


You know some people are dirty na not dirty as in dirty ohh. But then if both of you don't share probably a certain level of hygiene my dear there will be problem. Say for example, you marry someone who is comfortable with not bathing for some days. That's basic hygiene and you can't stand something like that, do you honestly think when you marry they will suddenly change for you??? Or you're someone who likes things to be organized from books to clothes to shoes like me here and you marry one scattered person; you'll have to complain although the day. Some people generally do not consider basic hygiene, no offense but guys especially😒 but don't worry there are girls like that too. Don't marry some lazy person who can't even do his/her own laundry talkless of keep the house clean. Marry someone who shares the same level of hygiene with you, from body hygiene to house hygiene and whatever there may be.


Now you are probably thinking to yourself "can i find all my 'mates' in a single person". Well don't stress yourself, the answer is a simple YES! You won't have to marry 7 ladies/guys to find all these mates because a single person can be definitely be all that for you. Equally If you can work on build your life or work on yourself then you can also be all of that for some lady/guy who will marry you.
Gods promise for you in Isaiah 34:16 is this

"Seek from the book of the Lord, and read:
Not one of these will be missing;
None will lack its mate.
For His mouth has commanded,
And His Spirit has gathered them."

I hope you enjoyed reading. Thank you for your time, see you again soon!!!


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Thanks for sharing Dr and some of the things we fail to understand is that marriage is a beautiful union where you and your partner are suppose to flow in every aspects being in talking, playing,sex, altitude and even the way you behave in the society when you find someone like this I don't think there's any reason why s married won't hold... Let's try to make our husbands/wives the way we will like our homes to be all these things we see in movies are not just fictions but reality

That's why they say marry your best friend
Thanks for reading

For sure


Wow those who have hears let them follow you digest this good information your beautiful in your words

Woaw, amazing 🔥. Thank you so much for sharing this.

I would still like to emphasize on marrying your sex mate. I'll be talking especially to christain couples who are practicing sexual abstinence until marriage. The issue is these couples tend not to discuss sexual issues during courtship because they see it as erotic, meanwhile forgetting that sex plays a huge part in marriage.

Now, I think it's absolutely necessary for couples during courtship to discuss what they're comfortable with in the bedroom. Just take a look at social media today, you'll here stories like "I got married to my husband 2 months ago and how he's demanding oral sex from me which I can't." This is exactly a clear indication of the fact that sex wasn't discussed during dating/courtship. I know we're in a conservative society where people feel ashamed to talk about sex, but it's high time we wake up.

Good writeup overall. If I were to summarise all you've said, I'd say make sure you're compatible with your partner in every possible aspect

Well they make it sound like sex is generally unholy whereas that's not it.

Yea compatibility is most important.
Thankz for your reading😊

Thanks for sharing

You're welcome

This is an amazing insight. I love the way you presented it with some hidden humour 😊. Actually not to make it complicated i usually say, because its rare to find all best qualities in one person, have a minimum you won't compromise no matter what and when you identify in that person the attitude of acceptance when reproched and the willingness to grow above a shortcoming, then that's a good deal. Secondly, i tell everyone to personally reflect the type of person they want because you attract who you are.

Well its not as rare we may think.
That's why i said you have to work on yourself too and like you said you attract who you are

Thank you for reading

Wow really great dear in addition I say let marry our church mate not someone who will what do you know and that your just talking because your still a child marry your generation limit not otherwise.

I don't think there should be church mate thats why i talked of spiritual mate. Same God

And i don't understand the other part of generation limit