Hello steemians, this week was hectic and stressful for me. Honestly I am really down, financially I am short from my project.
This is were my father rests, when tatay left us and be with our creator he did not expect things to go this way. Because of his death my brothers and I haven't been in good terms. Tatay left us long time ago even when he is alive he seemed dead to us.
I can't remember the time my brothers visited tatay in the cementery, it's not that we still have hatred in us but he just didn't leave us anything to hold on to him.
But despite that, tatay is still my tatay the father who gave me life and put me into this world. So I wanna make his resting place a comfortable one. I know I can not visit him a lot but his relatives will, or the people who treated him as his own. Hopefully this Mausoleum will make the visitors more comfortable.
We visited tatay because my husband insisted, he said that your tatay is already gone it would be nice if you pay him a visit. Because of that visit I saw that Tatays resting place isn't that nice, it seemed abandoned and forgotten. So my husband and I decided to have it fixed.
Financially I am really in debt because of all the materials I have to buy for the construction.
Spent thousands already but still not yet finished,this is the second week of the construction. Almost done but still need to add more. I am praying that I can finally get enough money to fund the construction so it'll continue.
I know despite the difficulty I am right now I can still overcome this. My tatay may not have showed me that father figure I hoped for but I will still be a daughter that will never forget him. I may feel sulky at times remembering the lost time, I sometimes even blame him in my prayers for not reaching out to me. But I think I should blame myself too for not letting him in my life.
I know I can not bring back the time I should have spent with him but I pray that he is in a good place. I remember my aunt told me how he waited for me before he finally rested.
I wasn't able to say goodbye to him for the last time, I was selfish and didn't think of Tatays feelings. I can not bring him back nor erase all the pain, death teaches me to never hold grudges to anyone. Death has showed me how valuable time is. Death has taught me that family is more important than my pride. And death has made me realize that one should learn to apologize when wronged.
Hopefully I can finish this when enough money, I pray God will provide.